While looking through an old Bible, I found a piece of paper where someone had written two scripture"recipes" or whatever you want to call them. Somebody else wrote them, presumably a teacher of some sort. I got this Bible as a present from my Weekday Christian Education class, which I signed up for in 3rd grade because you got to leave the classroom for an hour and go outside to a trailer. (I still don't understand how that's not a violation of church and state, but whatev.) The trailer seemed like it'd be cool but it was really beige on the inside and there were lots of boring posters with books of the Bible on them. The teachers were a young, skinny, tall and also pregnant lady, and a tiny lady who seemed EXTREMELY old. It seemed like we always wore our coats because the trailer wasn't heated (though obviously it couldn't have been cold the entire school year.) I remember that the old lady had a grey coat and the young lady had a long, maroon one that I thought was really ugly.
Anyway, I don't know if this piece of paper is from Weekday Christian Education, probably not though, because it's doubtful I would have kept a piece of paper from the 3rd grade. But I went to Sunday School at church and we would occasionally get special verses or things, so I assume it was that type of thing. One verse is Psalm 121. Pretty standard. The next is Jeremiah 11:14 -
So now I, the Lord, warn them that I am going to bring destruction on them, and they will not escape. And when they cry out to me for help, I will not listen to them.
Um, okay, that's pretty terrifying for a small child. Pretty weird. Oh wait, I think. Naturally this person simply meant to write Jeremiah 14:11 and just got mixed up. So I look that up:
The Lord said to me, "Do not ask me to help these people." (it later goes on to say, Even if they fast I will not listen to their cry for help; and even if they offer me burnt offerings, I will not be pleased with them. Instead I will kill them in war and by starvation and disease.) That's uplifting.
Would it not be hilarious and twisted for a Sunday School teacher to do that to a kid, like, "Here's your special Bible verse, Jenny! Look it up before bedtime! Then the poor kid can't sleep all that night because she's terrified God will smite her in her sleep or something.
Fortunately for 3rd grade me I rarely remembered to do what teachers asked and I did not look up the verse until now, and I can't stop laughing.
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